finding rythm, staying in tune

Over the last month or two, I have been a little out of sync with life. Not quite sure why, but just seemed to be just a count off beat, a little out of rhythm with this current season of my life. For no apparent reason, I often felt despair, struggling to find purpose, experiencing friction in many areas of life, although unnoticeable to many looking on. But every time those feelings came on, I ran hard to God. Each time, He reminded me that in Him I find my peace, my strength, my hope, my purpose, my joy. His provision was enough, yet kept me coming back for more. In short, He sustained me, giving me the kick in the butt I needed to shake the funk that I regularly would fall into.

For whatever reason tonight, I was able to associate all this with being a little out of rhythm in life, often trying to play an instrument that didn't fit the song. Musically speaking, I am not tone-deaf; I know when something sounds out of tune. But in regards to the current season I am in, the current song that my life is playing, I have been most definitely tone-deaf. Wrong instrument, wrong beat, wrong tune.

I'm not quite sure what the song of this season of my life is yet, but I'm catching on to the tune. There is a heavy dependence upon God in prayer; more than I can remember. Also an unveiling of my eyes to see things that I never understood before in scripture, causing me to pour over a few verses for days and days. There is a deepening burden to truly love people. Also an awareness that I don't really know as much as I think I do, realizing that I have much to learn from others, and less emphasis on what I can offer them.

All these things are apart of the song He is playing in my life, the melody. I haven't yet picked up on the lyrics, the message, the purpose of this song, this season, but know that songs are about timing. When the time comes, I am sure that I'll know the lyrics, I'll know the heart of this season. Then, with everything that is in me, I will make a joyful noise, in key, on queue, in rhythm, signing His song for this season of my life.

Teach me Your song Lord Jesus. Show me the purpose of this season. Fill my lungs. I will sing your song with all that I am. I will not be silent.