You know what? Disappointment Sucks.

Yes, you heard me. Disappointment sucks.

It happens when goals are blocked. It happens when things don't turn out how you thought they should. It happens when people let you down. 

Iowa State's fans stormed the field after they defeated the number 2 team in the country tonight, savoring the joy, the pride, the pure pleasure of watching their team do tonight what OSU has done for the last 10 games: win. Throughout the game, it was clear. This was not OSU's night, and Iowa State was out to slay a giant. 

As I watched the game, I became increasingly depressed. The team that had everyone's praise, the one who was on track to meet LSU in the national championship, was not going to win the game, and their was nothing they could do about it. 

I've been there before, as a player. It sucks to loose. But I am no longer play football... so why did it suck for me, watching them loose? They lost the game, not me. Why do I care so much? Why does the performance of a football team boost my joy when they win, and sink me into the gutter of depression when they loose?

As much as I'd like to pretend that I haven't been caught up in all they hype, my heart ratted me out and told me the truth. My heart, which supposedly belonged wholeheartedly to God, had been caught in a worship affair with OSU's success. When OSU won big, I felt great! When they lost all hope of playing for a national title, I felt awful. Loosing sucks. But the thing that sucked more was coming to the realization that I had given my heart away after the performance of a football team. 

Disappointment sucks. It steals our joy. It wounds us. It is painful. It is... 

a blessing. 

While experiencing disappointment in and of itself sucks, it was a blessing for me tonight. Why? Because it caused me to turn from seeking pleasure from a stupid football team's win/loss record, and return to the Lord, the One who never fails, who always accomplishes His purposes, the One who knows no disappointment, the One who won't disappoint those who trust their lives with Him. As strange as it sounds, seek out disappointment, because when you are in it, it will point you back to Christ, to experience him like never before, to know Him better like never before.

OSU's loosing tonight was the best thing that could have happened to me tonight, because it caused me to turn my heart back to God, instead of chasing after the success of OSU. Through it, God gave me the ability to see how I had been caught up in the sin of idolatry, consumed with the success of the football team. It was a reminder to my very soul that I was in desperate need of a savior. It reminded how rich and wonderful it is to really spend time with God, and not cram him inside a 10 minute devotional that will let me "check the box". It caused me to reflect on these thoughts and how much I need to spend time with God.

It's been nearly two months since I've typed a single post on here. And it probably would have been longer, had OSU not lost, had I not experienced disappointment, and redirected to the One who will not disappoint our hope in Him. Winning may build class, but loosing always builds character. Disappointment realigns our perspective with reality. It reminds us that our help, our joy, our satisfaction, our peace come not from a football team's success, but from the Lord.