Lead well

How would you define the culture of your office, your church, or the team you serve with? Is it a fun place to work? Do you like the people you work with? How about problems versus solutions- are the people you work with driven to find solutions or do they campout and critique the evidence of the problem? Do they dream about what's possible? Do they get excited about what could be? Do they celebrate when their coworkers succeed?

These questions and many like them will reveal if healthy leadership is present within your team or office. It is because of good leadership that people learn to discover solutions to problems, find satisfaction in their work, persevere through difficult assignments, and enjoy working with the people on their team.

In small teams, the leader has direct access to the team, and they to him. The leader can develop relationships, help them grow in weaknesses, develop them as leaders themselves.

Large organizations with multiple layers of management and leadership are different. Someone with 100 people under their care cannot foster a leader/learner relationship with each person. Not only is it impossible, but to attempt to do so discredits the authenticity of their attempt while stunting the growth of the people he leads.

If you want to lead your people well, lead your leaders well. Leaders who are led well will lead well.  

The leaders within the organization are the culture shapers. They are intimately familiar with the issues and concerns of the people. If the leaders don't have vision and drive and and desire to improve, to create, do do the impossible, if they don't enjoy what they do, then neither will their team.

A leader can only lead as high as the leadership he reports to. If the leadership above him is strong and leading him well, then he will rise to that level of leadership with his team. If the leadership above him is poor, then the leader will either resign his will to lead, or more likely, he will simply leave and go to a place that has a higher level of leadership.

If you are frustrated with the culture of your organization, then start leading your leaders well. Leaders who are led well will lead their leaders well. And as the leader goes, so does the culture.

The right leadership at the wrong level is the wrong leadership for all levels. If you want to lead your people well, lead your leaders well.

contentment

This morning I was getting my daughter some cereal for breakfast. She is a huge cereal fan, like her daddy, and says to me: "Daddy, I want a lot." She says this, of course, because she is really hungry and thinks that she could literally devour all food in sight. Not sure where she gets this from... But me, being a "professional" parent now of two, understand that she has a small stomach and can only eat a certain amount before she becomes full. And she proves me right every time I give her too much, as we would often have to throw away the cereal that she couldn't finish.

This is not an easy thing to explain to a three-year-old, but once grasped, it will radically affect her view of life. So our dialogue goes something like this...

"Do you have a lot of Buba's or enough?" - "enough"
"Do you have a lot of Daddy's or enough? - "enough"
"Do you have a lot of Mommy's or enough?" - "enough"

So instead of giving her everything she asks for, I give her enough of what she needs - not to much, but enough. And guess what? To her surprise, she was content with enough.

Unfortunately, even as adults we have a horrible time realizing this reality. I imagine that our Heavenly Father shakes his head in amazement at our needless requests for things that we don't need, and the quantities that we ask for. God, please give me more income... God, please give me a bigger house... God, please give me the car with all the bells and whistles... The bible tells us that we have not because we ask with the wrong motives, asking for things to dispose of upon our selfish desires, and not for His purposes (James 4:3). But God not only wants to provide us with our needs, but desires to provide us with good things, for our well-being and benefit (Matt. 7:7-11, Romans 8:28).

And how insulting is it to God when we forget that His grace is sufficient for us, and continually try to earn his favor by works and good deeds, trying to appease God by doing many "righteous" things to outweigh the sin-debt that we are absolutely unable to pay (2 Cor. 12:9)? How quickly we forget that the work of Christ on the cross was MORE than enough for us.

I think Paul describe the concept of contentment in his letter to the Philippians:

"...I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:11-13

Find contentment in enough...

Leadership 101: People do what they're lead to do

I've heard my pastor speak several times about leadership within the church world. One of the topics he often deals with is in the form of a complaint from pastors and leaders about their followers. "My people won't _____." The blank can represent a lot of things for church leaders; tithe, serve, go on missions, love one another, practice evangelism, etc. Many times, a leader will experience this frustration, not for lack of communicating the need, but because they haven't lead their people in this area by actually modeling the desired action themselves. A leader can't lead someone to do something that they themselves are not doing. Tough talk, but nevertheless, reality.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch where you and me and everyone else lives, the question arises: "so what?" Well, here's where it applies to me.

Over the last few days, i have experienced a lot of frustration with my 3yr-old daughter. She back-talks frequently, talks very rudely, all with a less-than-desired-tone... Up until now, this has not been a regular occurance, and when it did happen, our usual discipline approaches correct these behaviors. So what do you do when your normal parenting approaches don't work? That's right! You raise your voice, give them the mean parent face, and use every threat you can think of, but never follow through... very inneffective, unproductive, and harmful at best.

So my sweet, loving, meek wife brings this idea to my attention after we had another behavior problem this morning. Not her exact words, but the idea is this: "she is only acting out the way she sees us act out." No way to counter the wisdom of a Proverbs 31 woman... My daugher is doing what I've lead her to do. If I want a certain behavior in her, if I want her to respond a certain way when things don't go well, if I want her to share and be loving to her friends and neighbors - you guessed it. I have to do it myself if I hope to lead her to do the same.

People do what people see. This applies to anyone who has a position of authority or influence on another person - that includes moms, dads, brothers, sisters, co-workers, employees, teammates, and even church leaders :). What is it that your "people" won't do, that you haven't lead them to do?

testing for pride...

Just the other day I had a friend tell me about recent experience in being humbled. Someone had the courage to show him one of his "blind spots". Instead of digging in his heals and defending himself, he chose to be teachable and allowed humility to produce growth in him.

Where personal defensiveness arises, you can be sure that pride is not far.

Humility is a litmus test for pride. Apart from it, we are not able to discern pride in ourselves. The measure of pride is directly related to the amount of personal pain we experience when we are exposed to humility. The more prideful we are, the more it hurts.

When our confidence, peace and joy are found in Jesus Christ and HIS work in us and others, humbling circumstances will not only be painless, but will further solidify our confidence and joy in Christ our King.

self serving?

"Concerning this salvation, the prophets, who spoke of the grace that was to come to you, searched intently and with the greatest care, trying to find out the time and circumstances to which the Spirit of Christ in them was pointing when he predicted the sufferings of Christ and the glories that would follow. It was revealed to them that they were not serving themselves but you, when they spoke of the things that have now been told you by those who have preached the gospel to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven. Even angles long to look into these things." 1 Peter 1:10-12

I am in a season of discovering what leadership actually is, and so it is no surprise to myself that I kept reading this passage over and over, not being able to move past it with out considering God's use of it to move me spiritually from where I am.

Leadership is a term that each of us must define. For a long time, I thought of it as a tool people used to manipulate people to do what you wanted them to do; to get them help you complete your goals, your agenda. But the more I learn, the more sure I become that leadership is helping people accomplish those goals that most greatly benefit those being lead (as those that will follow them), not the leader. A true leader will place the needs of those he serves as his first leadership priority, serving them in ways that enable them to accomplish those lofty goals that they aren't able to reach by themselves.

Leadership is truly a powerful tool that enables us to do things that we couldn't do by ourselves. Ironically, most of our world misunderstands what is at the heart of true leadership: servant-hood. Don't believe me? Try taking some notes from the greatest leader that has and will ever live: Jesus Christ.

Is your leadership for the benefit of yourself or others?

Priorities?

Most of us are able to rattle off the top 5 priorities of our lives with little effort. But rare is a person who actually lives according to their own spoken priorities. In my own struggle to live out what I profess to believe, I have asked myself to answer two simple questions:

1. What MUST I do each day (priority)? - These are the things that are outside my normal activities, like work, meals, getting dressed, etc. These are things that reflect my beliefs and priorities. They require a conscious effort to accomplish.
   
2. What things would I LIKE to do today (discretionary)? - These are the things I would like to do after I tend to my priorities, time and resources willing.
   

Too often, I find myself spending most of my time doing the things that I like to do, but little on the things that I absolutely must do, if my beliefs are to match what I profess. Below, I have provided my answers to these questions, in effort to help me identify those things that steal my time from the things I truly value. Hopefully, these thoughts will encourage you to identify those things which you must do, and differentiate them from the things you would like to do.

What are your priorities? How do you live them out?

Priorities:

• God
  
  • Read the Bible. Process it. Pray over what I read. Apply it.
    
  • Listen for God's calling, prompting throughout my day, asking:
    
    • What is God trying to teach me?
      
    • What does God want me to do with/about ___?
      
    • What does God want me to share with others (time, thought, idea, possession, encouragement)?
      
• Wife
  
  • Show my wife that I love her, in a way that she understands.
    
  • Show my wife respect and love by the way that I communicate with her (speaking and listening)
    
  • Intentionally lead my wife to be a fully devoted follower of Christ
    
• Children
  
  • Spend time with my children, giving them attention, listening to them when they talk, loving them in a way that they feel loved by me.
    
  • Teach my children how to make good and Godly decisions; discipline as needed, full of love
    
  • Intentionally lead my children to become fully devoted followers of Christ
    
• Self
  
  • Read books, meet with mentors, listen to teachers to develop myself as a:
    
    • Disciple of Jesus Christ
      
    • Husband of my wife
      
    • Father of my children
      
    • Leader of others
      
      • Co-workers
        
      • Life group
        
      • Life group leaders
        
    • Friend to my friends
      
  • Make time for exercise
    
  • Eat a healthy diet
    
  • Get enough rest
    

    
    

Discretionary Things:

• Internet - Checking email, facebook, twitter, blogs, IM, texting, etc.
  
• Media - watching TV, movies, music, etc.
  
• Tasks - Managing finances, organizing/cleaning up things, home/yard/car maintenance, etc.
  
• Hobbies -Disc golf, video games, guitar, ping pong, projects, etc.
  
• Work - Go to work early, stay late, homework
  
• People - hang out with friends/extended family
  

I am AWESOME at handling criticism

Not really. Actually, i suck at handling criticism. i got a good dose of it at work this week from my boss. but it wasn't one of those 'close the door and sit down' settings where he just rips me a new one - it was passive, sarcastic comments - something that i can't stand; almost as much as being criticized! I would rather have you just tell me to my face what the problem is. it drives me crazy when people obviously have an issue with something, but don't confront the issue. they just let their tone, their attitudes, their non verbal language do the talking, but never bring it up until it finally leads to a huge explosion. (sorry for my rant...).

My reality has been to always answer my critics and be defensive, probably because i think that i am never wrong (another issue that God keeps knocking me over the head with). because of the incident this last week, i spent some time stewing, trying to come up with my last chance say-all farewell speach that told my boss what i thought of him and how he doesn't know what he's talking about. then i started thinking about how i was going to explain to my family that Daddy just lost his job because he can't handle criticism and choked out his boss.

Your boss, your spose, your neighbor and many others offer criticism - some rightfully so, some not. But they are not the only ones that offer criticism. God has a way of criticizing, too. And when He brings something to your attention, there's not much room for honest discussion; He's right, and you're wrong.

The week before, i had finished a chapter in Craig Groeschel's book "Confessions of a Pastor", which just so happened to deal with handling criticism. In the book, Craig provides insight on when you should listen, answer, dismiss, or endure the criticism. I can't thank God enough for leading me to read this information when He did. I am still struggling with criticism, but know i am able to recognize my failures here, and am better equipped to respond in a better way.

do you struggle with criticism? are you defensive? What does God say about how you handle your criticism?